Dutch family law hangs on one concept, gezag - parental authority - and most of the problems internationals run into here come from not knowing who holds it.
Without it you cannot consent to medical treatment, choose a school, apply for a passport, or take your own child abroad.
This guide covers the parts of family law that are not divorce, which is dealt with separately.
Who Holds Parental Authority
A married couple and registered partners both hold gezag over a child born to them, automatically.
For unmarried parents the rule changed on 1 January 2023: acknowledging a child at the gemeente now also confers joint parental authority, where before it required a separate application.
Acknowledgements made before that date did not, so if your child was acknowledged earlier, check the register rather than assume.
Erkenning - acknowledgement - is done at any Dutch municipality, and can be done before the birth, which is the simplest moment to do it.
A birth must be registered at the gemeente where the child was born within three working days.
Since 1 January 2024 parents may give a child both surnames, in either order, chosen at registration and then fixed for subsequent children of the same parents.
You can check who holds gezag over a child in the Centraal Gezagsregister, and it is worth doing once rather than discovering the answer in a crisis.
Moving, Travelling And Taking A Child Abroad
Where two people hold gezag, both must consent before a child moves house, changes school, or leaves the country.
Taking a child abroad without the other holder’s consent is international child abduction under the Hague Convention, to which the Netherlands is a party, and it is treated as such regardless of intention.
The Dutch central authority for international child matters handles incoming and outgoing cases, and the return procedure is fast and unforgiving.
If the other parent will not consent to a move, the route is vervangende toestemming - substitute permission from the court - not going anyway.
For ordinary holidays, carry written consent from the other parent and a copy of their ID, because Dutch border officials do ask.
The Marechaussee publishes a standard consent form for exactly this, and using it avoids the argument.
Child Support And Agreements
Kinderalimentatie is calculated from what the child costs given the household income before separation, then divided between the parents by capacity to pay, with a reduction for the days each child spends with the paying parent.
The obligation runs until the child turns 21, not 18, and the amounts are indexed every January.
An ouderschapsplan - a parenting plan covering residence, care days, costs and decision-making - is compulsory where there are minor children, and a court will not process a separation without one.
Unmarried couples with children need one too, which people frequently discover late.
A samenlevingscontract drawn up by a notaris is what covers property, pensions and each partner’s position for couples who are not married, and it is the only document that does.
When The State Gets Involved
The Raad voor de Kinderbescherming investigates and advises the court where a child’s safety or welfare is in question, and it also reports in contested custody cases.
It is an investigator, not a party, and its report carries substantial weight with the judge.
Veilig Thuis is the national advice and reporting point for domestic violence and child abuse, reachable on 0800 2000, free and available around the clock.
Contact with either does not automatically mean proceedings, and getting advice early is treated very differently from being reported later.
Schools, GPs and childcare here work to a mandatory reporting code, which is why a professional may raise something you consider private.
Getting Help
Family petitions can only be filed by a Dutch advocaat - there is no self-service route.
MfN-registered mediators handle family mediation, and an agreed outcome reached in mediation costs a fraction of a contested case and holds better afterwards.
Het Juridisch Loket on 0900 8020 gives free first advice and a referral that reduces your contribution if you later qualify for subsidised legal aid.
Which country’s law applies to your property and maintenance may not be Dutch law, particularly for couples who married abroad, so raise nationality and marriage location at the very first meeting.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is gezag and why does it matter?
Parental authority - the legal right to make decisions for your child, including medical care, schooling, passports and travel.
Without it you cannot do any of those things, whatever the birth certificate says.
I am not married to my child’s other parent. Do I have parental authority?
If you acknowledged the child on or after 1 January 2023, yes, automatically.
If the acknowledgement was earlier, check the Centraal Gezagsregister, because it probably did not follow.
Can I take my child to my home country?
Only with the consent of everyone holding gezag, or with court permission.
Doing it without consent is treated as international child abduction under the Hague Convention.
How long does child support run?
Until the child turns 21, and the amounts are indexed each January.
It is calculated from the household’s income before the split, then split by what each parent can afford.
Do unmarried parents need a parenting plan?
Yes, where there are minor children, and it is required before a court will handle the separation.
A notarial cohabitation agreement is separate and covers the adults’ own position.
What does the Raad voor de Kinderbescherming do?
It investigates children’s welfare and advises the court, including in contested custody cases.
Its report is influential, and it is not an adversary you can appeal against directly.
Whose law applies if we married abroad?
Not necessarily Dutch law, particularly for property and maintenance in older marriages.
Tell your lawyer where you married and what nationalities are involved at the first meeting, because it changes the answer to almost everything else.
